s r f ;

22 energies; so far, so good.

the physical aspect of earthday proceedings mattered much less this year,

just another day, just another age, except the great cosmic significance.. 

i’d rather not aimlessly divulge so, in essence; fruition, forward & up!

there’s been a great deal of educational experience encountered on this path, and even greater souls sailing along on this journey.

it’s all dependent arising so i guess it’s kudos to causality.

- love&light - 

Not long ago, I was given the opportunity to engage in dissent on the topic of suicide and express the views I’ve been meaning to share in written form for some time, thankfully the opportunity presented itself today. 
I’m probably all alone on this one but here goes.

“Suicide is a selfish act” is a statement I refute for a number of reasons, 
for the basis of this post i’ll focus on one; the literal meaning of the words.
If I must I’d rather call it an act on “self”.

Webster’s definition of selfish is “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure,
or well-being without regard for others”

To the average joe/plain jane there is nothing advantageous nor pleasurable about death, to the contrary you’ll find most fear it, even when it carries the false premise of liberation. This isn’t eating the last slice of cake or drinking the whole carton of juice we’re talking about, this is a being ending their own physical life.

Not only is it an incorrect generalisation (as most are), it’s voicing opinion as fact of some sort; making an assumption one had no regard for their role to others with little or no evidence to reinforce.
To those supporting the statement, on what basis did you draw your conclusion? 
A report detailing nothing more than the act of the afflicted you’ve been quick to pass judgement on, without any ounce of insight?
That says more about you & less about them.

At least once in our lifetimes we may have been playfully confronted with a scenario of having to end your life to save another,
“would you jump off a cliff to save your mother’s life?”  or another of the sort.
For illustrative purposes only, picture that scenario for real; a parent or anyone you hold dear, knowing it’s your life or theirs but knowing,
the very moment you take that step, there is no return. 

The point I’m making is this; albeit an unlikely scenario the mere thought should conjure unpleasant feelings (at least for me anyway), not so much of the decision faced but rather the difficulty of actively ending your own life, even if it means saving that of another you hold dear.
It’s no coincidence majority say they’d never be able to, given that scenario,
yet some discuss suicide as if it’s a simple matter or “the easy way out”.
 

From my experiences, “Suicide is a selfish act” is a statement made only by those with no proximity to the situation and it’s proven when it draws closer to home.
When Person A becomes a friend or family, suddenly the tone turns from
“How selfish” to “How sad”, yet the act is still the same…funny that.

Even funnier that empathy is supposedly the quality that defines the human being, yet so many seem to have missed the memo.

I’m far from accepting or agreeing with suicide, I’ve unfortunately lost a friend to the act and felt the pain on the faces of all those affected,
but it’s the pain you don’t see that hurts the most; the pain behind the smile painted for people who may never comprehend the depths of the darkness within.

It may seem valid to say some people have been subject to unpleasant acts such as rape, abuse or another form of affliction, yet they find hope to stay alive while others end their lives over “little” things like failed relationships or prank calls, 
but even then, that would be passing judgement based on one’s own perception of what the threshold for tolerance should be… how when it clearly differs from individual to individual?

The greatest irony of it all is, I’ve witnessed greater “selfishness” in those responding to suicide than those who’ve committed the act.
On numerous occasions I’ve heard people with the nerve to complain of their train being delayed because “some selfish person jumped on the tracks” Excuse me? 

Sorry you have to wait a few more minutes to sit in Starbucks with your pals,
sorry you won’t make the 9pm showing of the new Twilight, heck,
sorry you might even be late for work and it may be inconvenience but guess what? 
your life goes on; walk out, call a cab, you have life and the choice to do all you please, even if it is ridicule the deceased, unfortunately for those driven to the point of no return, albeit their decision to commit the act, they don’t

I’m probably all alone on this one, but for the sake of so-called-humanity, I hope not.
It’s a sad state of affairs when the same eyes fail to see the self in another.
 

- love&light -

with the first week of the year coming to conclusion, it’s been one filled with positivity & purpose. in hindsight, 2012 was a year of clarity, growth and great gain, even in the face of loss; one doesn’t form without the other, old paradigms need to be shed to make way for the new.

the past year in essence was one of building a firm foundation, now this is the time to tread on solid ground, but in truth, the building never truly ceases, today’s actions pave the path for tomorrow & so forth.

with that in mind, the only direction is forward & up, with patience & persistence all goals will come into fruition, as always, it’s simply a matter of time. 

- love&light -

thank the source for;

sundays
music
trees (both)
&frankmuthafcknocean! 

the past two-three weeks have been somewhat pivotal, in synopsis;

some things are truly better left unsaid,
a moment of clarity yet a lack of mindfulness, that being said
“only a fool trips on what is behind them”
the past is the past, this present moment gone.

december; deadlines,decisions.
slo-motion better than no motion

my reality clashes with most expectations, that’s life i guess

everything falls into place at its rightful time.

therealher-fanfic:

Someone should write a book where the main character slowly falls in love with the reader.

OHHH!

nodding my head/clapping in agreement.

uzowuru:

even if you forget me and everything you left behind, i never lied. i love you in a place where there’s no space and time 

tears of the dull sky
loud as the whisper of leaves
swaying in the wind 

i never thought i’d see the day i celebrated a flylo show in my city being cancelled but man am i elated; new venue, cheaper tickets!
although, the fact still remains i can’t afford to go just yet, i’ve got a list of important things i need to do with this concept called money.
unfortunately, something’s gotta give but hey, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

speaking of sir. lotus, it’s killin’ me watching everyone revel in the UTQC leak.
every year i wait on an album from a fav artist i stay deaf to as much music from it as possible ‘til i pick up my cd, this year is no different. 
only my imagination knows what see thru to u sounds like and i must admit,
i watched the UTQC short film on mute.

it may seem ott but i’m all about the musical voyage in its entirety.
come monday oct 1st when i pick up my cd, take it home, wait for the sun to dim and the stars to shine, smoke a lengthy joint with incense swaying in the air, press play and float away, it’ll be so so so so SO worth it.

on an ending note, trigun just may be my fav anime so far (sorry bleach) 
vash the stampede; a hero who refuses to kill and teaches love and peace, honestly, what more could you ask for?
that reminds me, i need to get back to my japanese lessons so,
ja mata ne!

yesterday’s jam session was easily the best so far, easily.
at the click of a metronome we drafted a piece surprising even ourselves,
it was one of those “is this really happening?” moments.
even now, i can’t stop smiling.

complacency gets the best of me at times
i don’t practice as much as i did when i first started, i guess i progressed too quick;
i made that sound like a bad thing, i guess it’s ultimately a sign of potential.
i’ve come some ways in 4 odd months, but i could be better, i will be better. 
i’m comin for you John Mayer.

in other news, it feels great to have positive energy back.
distant & disconnected spring to mind when i think of my being in the past month & some; i blame a lack of incense.

i’m 85% good now though, replenished & revived,
the show must go on and on it shall. 

I’m not afraid of dying, in fact, i’d welcome death with open arms. 
It would only be the genesis of a life elsewhere, away from humanity’s evils, besides, i’d finally get some answers to the questions i ask myself everyday.

The only thing I am afraid of is dying prematurely, because I truly feel my life has only just begun.
In my early teens I told myself “your life starts at 20” I didn’t know why then and I don’t now, but in the past year and some, I’ve learnt more about myself, life & others than in the 19 prior. I’ve come a long way but I’m only at the beginning of my path.

Some days I sit and reflect on the not-so-distant past and it’s like “woah, was that really me?” blinded by the superficial light of this world, shallow as hal, but I’m thankful all the same, I can see where I went wrong so I know how to do right.

One of my local rastas said something so simple to me that I cling to, it wasn’t the first time I heard it yet it meant all “life is all about growth, we all started from somewhere”
truest words.
I was in a different position spiritually and mentally two years ago, two years today I’ll be in a better place than I am now.
Nobody wakes up one day and finds themselves knowledgeable, spiritual or adept in any other form, it’s all about the process and that’s the joy of it.

I have a tendency to judge others by their flaws at times, once I see the bad in someone the red lights start flashing and I almost forget all good or their capacity to be; I know better because nobody’s perfect and i’m far from, we all try y’knw?

“Don’t be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn’t do what you do or think as you or as fast. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today.” 
- Malcolm X 

At the end of the day I just wanna keep growing, better myself and those around me. 
“live, learn, create, inspire” that’s my mantra!